A wise man once said funny sayings
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Wise Man Once Said Quotes
Humorous Saying — Author A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid. Nowell A clean house is a sign of a misspent life. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling.
The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. Was I tickling you? All would live long but none would be old. Remember the less you have, the more there is to get. You can keep them away for a while, but sooner or later they will be back to suck your blood.
It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. Walker God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends. He is not only dull himself, but he is the cause of dullness in others. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice and dropped in his fishing line. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not far from him.
The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. But, shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. How do you do it? Most of them never happened.
What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow. Walker Long tongue, short hands. A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple.
A friend in need is a pest. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house. A man must serve his time in every trade except censure-critics are ready made. A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
A new, young MD when doing his residency in OB, was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. All the world is mad save for me and thee, and sometimes I wonder about thee. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Blessed is he that can laugh at himself, he will never cease to be amused. Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be dissapointed. Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it. Credit cards are like mosquitoes. Do what you think is right in your heart. Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse can happen to you for the rest of the day.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else. Experience is a wonderful thing. Fond pride of dress is sure an empty curse; ere fancy you consult, consult your purse. From reader, Ferg Stevens of Indiana, our thanks for this story. God works wonders now and then; behold! Great talkers should be cropped for they have no need of ears. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. He is a self-made man and worships his creator. He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. He that would have a short Lent, let him borrow money to be repaid at Easter. He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts, for support rather than illumination. His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
I feel so miserable without you, its almost like having you here. I have never killed a man but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. If a patient dies, the doctor killed him, but if he gets well, the saints have saved him.
If something can go wrong, it will. It is better to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. It is better to swallow words than to have to eat them later. It takes less time to do something right than to explain why it was done wrong. It was a cold winter day. Cobb, a gentle needle. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Learn from the mistakes of others.
Sayings from a wise man
Humorous Saying — Author A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid. Nowell A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder. The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life. Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.
It Is Only When A Mosquito Lands On Your Testicles Greeting Card
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Wise Sayings About Love That Will Gush Your Heart With Feelings
He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don'thave film. A day without sunshine is like
People madly in love often look for ways to impress their loved ones. If you are one of them, then you can use some of these wise love quotes which will surely touch the heart of your beloved. For several centuries, many people have tried to give love, a definition, which has in turn given rise to a plethora of explanations and quotes about love.
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. Reba McEntire. An angel appears at a meeting of religious leaders and tells their leader that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behaviour, God will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. The leader sighs and says, 'I should have taken the money.
Jokes - A Wise Man Once Said...