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I need validation from guys

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Some of us care way too much about what other people think of us. We could all learn to care a little bit less about the opinion of others. You march to the beat of your own drum. You do things your way, and people either love that quality in you, or they hate it. It seems as if nothing gets you down.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Learning To Love Yourself + Seeking Validation From Men

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: This Emotion Will Destroy Your Love Life... (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

13 Ways To Stop Seeking The Approval Of Others & Feel Super Confident

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I have a desire to be adored by men. As an adolescent, these expectations ran through my head constantly. Pathetic, right? I felt happy and successful when I had at least one or two guys crushing on me.

As a feminist, it pains me to admit that I got so much validation from male attention. In college, I shed some of these unhealthy needs and fell in love with someone who accepts the real me — both my beauty and my flaws.

We make each other laugh. He makes me feel desired and beautiful. Is this something all people in relationships contend with? Will I grow out of it? Is there something missing from my relationship? How do I block out societal expectations of women and continue to grow into a more genuine person who gains validation and happiness from within? This is the mind-set that a patriarchal society enforces, one designed to keep women from defining success in ways unrelated to male adoration. It will certainly help to steer clear of entertainment that traffics in these toxic messages.

How did the men and women in your family define success? What messages did you receive from friends? But the role it plays in your life is to keep you from identifying and pursuing forms of validation that derive from your intellectual, professional and creative achievements.

But the real question is who you are beyond your relationships to men. SA : What Cheryl is saying — and I second her — is that we see in your letter a person bravely reckoning with her indoctrination. These sexual, emotional and physical demands would begin to extend to social demands: payment for care of the elderly, parental leave, child care, etc.

The force of female desire would be so great that society would truly have to reckon with what women want, in bed and in the world.

It involves you. It has to be killed, one feminist at a time. CS : So how do you neutralize these longings you have for validation via male sexual desire?

Only then will you see them for the false stories they are — and be able to replace them with new, true ones. Undertake a journey of self-discovery. Read feminist books, discuss your feelings with friends or a therapist, journal about the values you absorbed about gender, beauty, success, self-worth and love. The more you do, the more you will become. Home Page World U.

13 Approval seeking behaviours you need to stop

I have a desire to be adored by men. As an adolescent, these expectations ran through my head constantly. Pathetic, right? I felt happy and successful when I had at least one or two guys crushing on me.

No matter who you are, dating can be a rough ordeal. We all try our best to be the most attractive version of ourselves, glossing over our faults and unpleasant memories, stressing whatever traits we think will win us brownie points with the person across the table. But what if the feeling of wanting to get your date's approval never goes away?

When we get rejected, treated poorly, or someone blows hot and cold in a relationship with us, we often become stuck and fixated on that person. Usually when this happens, our interest in this person turns into a fevered obsession and we go to great lengths to get them to notice us. We will engage in shape shifting behaviours, where we stop being ourselves and try to turn into whatever we think they might like best. We will jump through hoop after hoop hoping to demonstrate just how special and unique we are, so that they will change their minds about us.

The psychology behind seeking validation (and Why YOU need it?)

FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. Now that I'm single, how do I stop needing validation from men? I've been in consecutive LTRs since I was 16 about 10 years , without more than a three month break in between. My most recent breakup was because I didn't think I was being self reliant enough. Depending on my ex for too many things wasn't fair to him, and was holding me back from growing as a person. So I broke it off and am imposing singleness on myself. Now I have to be more accountable for myself for instance, not completely relying on one guy for emotional support, or having to call AAA to come rescue me from a snow drift instead of just calling the bf , which I'm finding to be harder than I thought. Turns out, I'm pretty clueless when it comes to a lot of obvious things since I'm not used to being on my own for them. I'm not proud of it.

HOW TO STOP SEEKING VALIDATION & LIVE LIFE ON YOUR OWN TERMS

Whether you're trying to get hundreds of likes on Instagram or hoping to connect with someone on Tinder, sometimes it can seem like our happiness depends on other people in today's society. But there are ways to stop seeking approval of others. The key is to begin with addressing your own thought process. Rather than seeking approval from external influences, try to find true happiness by developing a more stable relationship within yourself.

Approval is like a killer drug. It becomes addictive and you quickly develop a need for more.

I wrote this in response to a post from David at How to Beast. I had this problem myself for many years. Mainly, you care too much about the opinions of other people. Not only their opinions, but their approval.

I’m in Love. But I Still Crave the Attention of Other Men.

Speak your heart out. Trying to please people will drain your energy. Mark questioned if the food will be good. Neither of us had tried the food at this place before.

Trying to figure out how to stop seeking validation was always impossible for me. This crumb would not only save me from myself, but it would invalidate everyone and everything that had ever caused me pain including the cynical audience in my head. Life could finally begin. Validation seeking is a form of perfectionism and perfection is the lowest standard that you can ever hold yourself to. We become perfection-addicted because deep down, we know that we can never be perfect.

Hey there, I’m Sim

I should be over him, right? I just really want him to see me? How can I stop seeking his validation all the time? Why do I want his attention? Hi Sofia, thanks for sharing. I found him very attractive, like with everything he did or the way his voice sounded, or the way his hair looked, etc… silly, simple things that I totally blew out of proportion to make myself feel better about myself, I suppose. In high school I felt like, looking back, my self esteem was lower than where it should have been.

I was ashamed to want these things. I felt needy for having needs. It's been an uncomfortable journey of learning to ask and — even harder — receive. Over time, I'.

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Comments: 4
  1. Malami

    Should you tell you have misled.

  2. Bralar

    What phrase... super, magnificent idea

  3. Yotilar

    It is a pity, that now I can not express - it is very occupied. I will be released - I will necessarily express the opinion.

  4. Nagami

    I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right.

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