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I want my boyfriend to get a job

We have known one another for about ten years dating on and off, taking a four year break at one point. We are compatible on many levels, but there is one thing that continues to turn me off from ten years ago to now and that is his lack of ambition to be successful professionally. I find the sexiest thing about a man is his intelligence, and no matter if a person is well read or not, a great deal of intelligence comes from professional life experience. I should be happy to have a man who loves me and I can trust.

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How to Get Your Boyfriend to Get a Job

Christina, 29, has been with her serious boyfriend for several years. Whenever they go anywhere, she now pays for them both. This could go one of two ways: It could be the catalyst for your breakup, or it could be the first major challenge that you and your boyfriend get through together.

Neither will be fun or sexy. Of course, you need to be very strategic about this. In , my then-boyfriend quit a job he hated without another one lined up, and it took a lot more time than either of us expected for him to find something new. But as months passed, he got discouraged, and I did too.

Then I felt guilty. After one particularly stressful workday, I freaked out and cried and told my boyfriend I was worried that we might never have enough money to send our children to college and retire the way I wanted — and we were both 25 and nowhere close to having kids.

My fear was irrational which he had the good sense not to point out , but my fraying nerves were actually quite normal. According to a study of the correlation between unemployment and health in the U. If you still reach a breaking point — whether it takes months or even over a year — Clayman recommends focusing on measurable, concrete benchmarks. These are the compromises that couples make to stay connected to each other. I just felt blatantly used. Already a subscriber? Log in or link your magazine subscription.

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Ask This Guapo: How To Motivate Your Boyfriend

He has no sense of pride. What would he have to be proud of in his life? He put off a false sense of confidence because really he had the lowest of low self-esteem. He had no sort of self-worth because what is HE really worth? No job means he contributes nothing to society.

A lengthy unemployment due to layoffs or career changes may make your Mr. Right seem less perfect, especially if he lacks the ambition to find a new job.

The problem is, he has no idea what he wants to do with his life. Whenever I bring up the subject he gets really defensive and even aggressive. I want him to plan for the future, hopefully OUR future, but at the same time, I refuse to play the role of his mother and tell him what to do with his life. Please help!

My Boyfriend is Wonderful, but Not Ambitious or Successful

Christina, 29, has been with her serious boyfriend for several years. Whenever they go anywhere, she now pays for them both. This could go one of two ways: It could be the catalyst for your breakup, or it could be the first major challenge that you and your boyfriend get through together. Neither will be fun or sexy. Of course, you need to be very strategic about this. In , my then-boyfriend quit a job he hated without another one lined up, and it took a lot more time than either of us expected for him to find something new. But as months passed, he got discouraged, and I did too. Then I felt guilty. After one particularly stressful workday, I freaked out and cried and told my boyfriend I was worried that we might never have enough money to send our children to college and retire the way I wanted — and we were both 25 and nowhere close to having kids. My fear was irrational which he had the good sense not to point out , but my fraying nerves were actually quite normal.

How To Motivate My Boyfriend To Get A Job

Recently, my colleagues had a discussion about a trend in couples that we have observed where one partner refuses to get a job to support the household or have a stable employment. Here are some reasons why people choose to stay with a partner who refuses to work. Even though you may start to feel a lot of hurt, anger, and resentment towards your partner, ultimately you stay in the relationship because you are getting something out of it. You have to be honest with yourself and explore what that is. Basically, there is some level of comfort to an unhealthy relationship, because it is familiar and predictable thus fear of the unknown.

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Part of it is my doing — I encouraged him to quit his job in December without having something lined up, which goes against my usual advice. However, the people he worked for were terrible; I have a high bullshit threshold and these people went way past it. He once went to them with a complaint of sexual harassment by a female client — which made him profoundly and understandably uncomfortable — and they LAUGHED at him and told him he should be flattered! Fuck that noise, I said.

Ways to help my boyfriend get a job. Help.

I am a female in my mid twenties and have been dating my boyfriend for over three years. When we first got together he had a stable, good paying job. I work full time and also go to school full time. He claims to look for employment during the day but has only had one interview the entire time.

My boyfriend is really unmotivated. I want to get him to do things, but I don't want to sound too bossy or seem like his mother. What should I do? If you aren't asking him to do things that his mother would make him do like: go to church, go shopping, or eat all his veggies, than you should hardly feel bossy or like his madre. If your ideas are constantly being turned down and overruled by the sofa and cerveza, then you need to change your approach. It would be one thing if you told me your man works a lot and it is hard to get him to go out because he is exhausted after work, but this guy is "unmotivated.

The Ways You Can Encourage Your Partner To Succeed

Of course, you remain pervious to other forces and situations involving those you interact with — especially those that are closest to you, like your family and friends. Your focus no longer is coming out ahead in each encounter as an individual, rather you and your partner both coming out ahead as a unit. This becomes clearer as our relationships progress from their earlier trial phases to their sustainable form after years of sharing time together. When you are in it for the long haul, the success of the relationship greatly depends on the individual happiness of each person within the relationship. Once a person feels that he or she has lost touch with the dreams he or she once had, he or she becomes unhappy; the first place we point our fingers is always our relationships. Luckily, the simplest form of helping your partner achieve their dreams is by facilitating the right type of environment for them.

I dated a man who refused to get a job and this is what I learned along the way. make an effort in his career and he never put an effort into being my boyfriend my money, not even a man I'm dating, but I do want him to have money so I'm.

FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags. Dedicated boyfriend but unemployed and unambitious, should i end it? I'm 29, have a doctorate, make 6 figures and own my own place. I've been with a guy who is 5 years younger than me for 6 months now. When we first met he was very honest and revealed that he never finished high school but has a GED, he tried 1 semester of college but dropped out; he also disclosed without me asking that his job paid 30k a year.

My Boyfriend Can’t Find a Job and It’s Driving Me Nuts!

Perhaps he has been able to convince you in the past that he will try to get one but he never follows through. He may get close to getting one every time but something always comes up that ultimately leaves him without one. You would listen to his sob stories about how this or that person at work mistreats him and is such a jerk. You start feeling sorry for him and perhaps even subconsciously encourage him to quit so as to find something else that will make him happier.

Ask Dr. NerdLove: My Boyfriend Won’t Look For Work

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Unmotivated Boyfriend…What Do I Do?

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Comments: 1
  1. Karan

    It is a pity, that now I can not express - I hurry up on job. But I will be released - I will necessarily write that I think on this question.

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